If you have any real serious questions, please send us an email through the contact page and we will be happy to answer you.
Q. Is the Tenth Annual International Hopscotch Championship a real event?
A. Of course it is. With such entertaining sports people like Fiona Flick and Steps Stevenson and such creative imagery from the commentator’s booth by Mike and Rhee how could it not be an official international sport with its own governing body?
Q. How and where can I meet the people in Hopscotch Champions?
A. Most of the players and commentators follow the international playing level of Hopscotch so by attending any of the top level competitions you’ll have a good chance of meeting any of them, except the disgraced Rattles Reinhart, of course, and, due to his injury record, Steps Stevenson can often been located in hospitals near where an International competition has recently been played.
Q. How heavy is that heavy guy?
A. That’s a question a number of engineers are asking. It is unknown at this stage what the load limit was on the crane that lifted him out of the grounds but his weight is less than that.
Q. What does Betty Pantsbulge look like? What are her vital statistics?
A. You’ll have to go by her voice to answer that one for yourself.
Q. Is Mike as sexy as he sounds?
A. That’s correct according to our female staff.
Q. Has anyone ever used an acorn as the throwing device?
A. Absolutely in those areas where acorns are available. However, they are not recommended due to their roundness. As they are not classified as a stone they can’t be used in international games.
Q. I totes love the sound of that belly button cowbell. Where can I get one?
A. From your use of language we suggest getting parental permission before getting one. They are available at most body piercing franchise stores.
Q. Can you please email me an application to join the government? It’s right up my alley!
A. Sorry, we do not encourage people to join government departments.
Q. Is hopscotch played in Kazakhstan?
A. There’s no registered hopscotch organization in Kazakhstan however there are some records indicating it is used as an army training technique and discipline device in abandoned minefields. The highly rated hopscotch competitor Krrrt Croustshoo-Uggg claims to have trained in that area as a youngster.